the Spoilt Canvas

Just for a moment I held a brush and it fell off,
Refusing to brush my imaginations,
It Spilled its own chaos on the canvas...
Only few colours...highly electric...
I could see blood red streaks of someone's fury..
Stains of overtaxed workers..
Opacity of sweat running down a salesman's face...
The hue of red of a defeated husband...
Brightness of hope in a child's eye...
Darkness of a Black future devoid of green..

Anonymous

Just a flash...a smile...and blank again
u disapappear Behind the walls of smoke..
wrapped in curtains of silence....
n sheath of indifference..
Blood lust and humming...
Is it the vivid absence, or your ghosty presence
That makes my heart ache.
You made me believe in fairy tales,
Rendered me vulnerable
You left me crippled..tripping over your thoughts..
twitching and shivering in the wrecks.
Playing bets with my luck..
M falling for you again..Disaster couldn’t be sweeter...

The Day As It Was

Tattooed Skinny waists,pierced shimmering navels,glossy lips,bleached hair lines and waxed pair of legs topped by irresistible face complexions throughout the country were all I could see around n Aroma of meterosexuality tinged with misty alcohol and grass smoke was all I could sniff around.


The human tendencies are indeterminate,unpredictable and when they are actualized we are all aware of that. The culmination of abuse of “ free will and freedom of expression “ is what can be witnessed only within the confines of a distorted and mutilated society with rented/borrowed etiquettes from the west .The Brigade Road @Bangalore or any other grown up places in INDIA is exemplary of the debacle .
My first foray into the wilds(read:literally wild) of the cyber city.

The fabric malls could very well boast of apt use(read abuse if u want to) of pricing their fashion wears inversely proportional to the length of the costumes. Chicks..OOOOMPH..red hot…justify these marketing tricks…the lesser the better the cooler. Each one of those gals were sweet eye-candies and a sure head-turner,enough to send even the silver screen divas duck for cover. Le-rock,PECOS,brigade INN to name a few ,at regular intervals popped out fresh supply of damsels on the roads…head banging ,swaying toes, hip hopping , all surrendered to the alcohol rush.
The streets are crowded.Teeming with half drunks/probably drunks/ and to be drunks.Every damn source of testosterone walking down the lane seems to be paired ,at least for the night I guess , except few gaping-mouths-unfortunately-unpaired ones like me who stood enchanted counting self heart beats and fantasies running wild.Hungry as I was,my search for a decent eating place nearly ended at a restaurant(supposedly an eatery) which I found out ,before it was late, to be serving not on my table but something hot between my laps. Thanks to the guide(wont mention his name here) who let me free on the roads for such a discovery and while he led me to a “decent” pub,I was shocked to find school going girls/boys hanging out there involved in acts unsuitable for their age confirming that we are really growing up(literally) fast and leveling with our milky white friends from a different time zone.

Rock/desi/fusion music well beyond the tolerable decibel limits is audible from anywhere.
The city never breaks off for a silence.It should.

You

wish i could grab the sands forever,a bit longer

longer than when i break out of my dreams,

wish i could have loved u a bit longer,

longer than when i break out of my dreams....

if ever u pass by me,if ever u glance at me

if ever your heart beats again,

if ever u feel the pain,just if ever u turn back...

Out of control

I enjoy this numbness

The absence of thoughts

Fumbling toes..tumbling mind…uncontrolled and swingy

Transported to a trance…..

Not far from reality

Not close to delusions either..

Forget what I were born as…..

Transform into ambience of my own…..

Taking a break being humane…..I mock the mirror..I punch myself..

Scrolling down timeline..I crawl back to the present

Feel the rush of blood.devoid of a terminus….

Alcohol is deceptive..captivating…eclectic…ecstatic rather

Coke is complementing the cause…

NighTMares

Between the night and the twilight

Subdued I lay, cornered to a wall,

Unspot under the shadows of light,

Still as a corpse,

Consumed by the darkness,

Feared to exposure, to revelation

Falling into vertigo, cast with spell

Of screaming voices, of haunting memories,

Of lost childhood, of lost innocence.

Of monsters feeding on my existence……………..

Night is long,too long,endless

Waking up is the only escape……….

JUST ANOTHER DAY

@The Entry Point
In this World human beings have become dependant upon crappy piece of papers and flashy smart cards for their identity . Mess with any of your PAN CARD,DL CARD,ACCESS CARD,RATION CARD,PROXIMITY CARD,PASSPORT ,BANK PASS BOOK et al .and the next day people may reject recognizing you .The truth is You are just a number, just an array of binary data punched on to a chip, a Black n White piece of paper. In compliance with the aforesaid consequences and given the authority of the security guard to strip me off my dignity publicly as and when he wants lest he finds any abnormal protrusions on my body curves while I stand on the altar just to get frisked by him,by his hands,by the beeping scanning machine, I produce my ID to prove its same me from the yesterday.
I pass on a grin to the guard and brush past him..

@The Cafeteria
It’s a long day and the CLIENT(read: my highly developed gastro-intestinal system) is demanding some input TEST CASES(read: food) of all that could be tried .So owing to the Demanding client and supply chain request I scroll down the Primary menus and the secondary menus which took me just another 15 minutes to choose my next probable diet for the hour considering my low fat ,low cash wallet. The queue pretends to move, a performance bug I guess. After another 10 minutes I get the coupon slashing 45 bucks down . When asked for the order the caterer replies ‘Sir,your food request has been queued in at our terminal to be processed and compiled by our certified cooks ,due to inadequate supply of the third party ingredients it will be just another 10 minutes Sir before it gets compiled and downloaded on to your table’. After 10 minutes…..Hmmm….loading…loading…loading 100%complete….yummy…a burp…

@The Traffic
While(Not Home&&time>=90mins)
{ Way back, I am busy performing my special art of sliding down the window seat ,coil up and put my legs almost above the head of the colleague sitting ahead in the evening shuttle , and take up a quantum(usually 20 mins) of my unfinished sleep. Awakened by sudden sub-conscious call ,I find myself parked in a huge long garage having every kinds of vehicles ,having restaurants and shopping malls by the side,having neon-signboards, having a two-way lane(perhaps for the exit),and a shimmering disco-light flashing RED out of the three primary colors in its possession..damn..shit..f**k u B***re….Its the traffic Light..I m not yet home.
}
The traffic of Bangalore is running at the whims and fantasies of a three-eyed monster…the TRAFFIC LIGHT..